


lovesick

by fanmoose12



Series: Tumblr Prompts [26]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Hanahaki Disease, unrequited love... OR IS IT?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:29:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26955124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanmoose12/pseuds/fanmoose12
Summary: After a coughing fit that almost made her fall to the floor, Hange looked at the small flower that appeared inside her palm. A goddamn iris.She couldn't believe it. It couldn't have happened. Not to her, not now. Not when she was— when she was making so much progress in her work.And all of it because of some goddamn shorty, who would never reciprociate her feelings. Really, she probably had more chances with one of her titans.Hange banged her head against the wall with a groan.She was so fucked.or, Hange gets a hananaki disease
Relationships: Levi/Hange Zoë
Series: Tumblr Prompts [26]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1705417
Comments: 12
Kudos: 181





	lovesick

"... I don't understand how you can go around smelling like shit all the time, it's so—"

Hange quickly tuned out the rest of sentence. She liked spending time with Levi, really, but his lectures on proper hygiene were even more boring that Erwin's reports about funding.

And why was she the only one, who received these lectures? Sure, Hange wasn't humanity's cleanest soldier, but she wasn’t the only one who neglected her shower days. Mike and Nanaba, for example, frequently complained about Gelgar from their squad, who showered only twice a week. And Hange took baths more frequently than that!

Even besides her and Gelgar, there were enough soldiers, who didn't smell of soap and flowers. So why was she the one, who was forced to take bath by Levi?

As she thought about it, she looked down to stare at her meal. A meal, brought by Levi straight to her room, because he noticed that Hange was absent during dinner again. Taking a spoonful of soup, which Levi was so kind to bring her, Hange suddenly felt an acute pain in her chest. She stiffened in her seat.

"Four-eyes?" Levi stopped his tirade, noticing the change in her. And when she felt Levi's hand on her shoulder, as he gently shook her, the pain in her chest intensified. Her throat felt weird too, as though something was stuck there.

Shit. She was probably coming down with some flu. She needed to get rid of Levi, before he finds out and rats her out to Erwin. He'd forbid her from working then, and that was something Hange tried to avoid at all costs.

"I'm sorry, Levi," Hange forced on a smile. She rose to her feet, trying to ignore Levi's watchful eyes (and that weird, annoying pain). "I'm feeling a bit tired. Mind if we continue discussing my problem with personal hygiene in the morning?"

"Are you really going to sleep?" Levi looked at her skeptically. "Or are you just trying to get rid of me, so you could continue with your stupid research?"

"Absolutely not!" Hange put on her most innocent expression. "It was a really long day."

"Alright," Levi conceded, slowly moving towards the door. "But if I see the light coming out of your room tonight, I'm going to knock you out. The circles under your eyes look even worse than mine."

Something very similar to worry reflected in Levi's eyes. That expression made Hange's chest burn with pain.

As soon as Levi walked out of the room, Hange slid down to the floor. Whatever disease she caught, it was a serious one. Her chest felt too hot, her throat was too tight. A sudden and violent cough shook her body. Hange doubled over, coughing and coughing. Tears gathered in her eyes, but she just couldn't stop. Finally, after seemed like an eternity had passed, her fit was over. But as she straightened out, Hange saw something in her palm. Something that was probably stuck in her throat and what had caused her coughing fit in the first place. Hange looked at it and—

_No._

She couldn't believe it. No. It couldn't have happened. Not to her, not _now_. Not when she was— when she was making so much progress in her work.

Hange looked at the small flower in her palm. A goddamn iris. Did they even grow inside the walls? She only remembered seeing them in ancient books. A bitter, ugly laugh made its way out of her throat. Now she had the perfect opportunity to study these flowers. Might as well do it, she thought, before the damn thing kills her.

Fuck, and all of that because of some shorty? It was Levi, who caused her disease, Hange was sure of it. Didn't make it much better, though. Really, she probably had more chances with one of her titans. The great Captain Levi would never reciprocate her feelings.

Hange banged her head against the wall with a groan.

She was so fucked.

* * *

As soon as she woke up in the morning, Hange hurried to the library.

She heard about hananaki disease, but not much. She had no interest in it, and besides a couple of people from the village she grew up in, she didn’t know a single person, who had contracted it. In Survey Corps, no one had the time to worry about things like that. There were a lot more chances of you dying by the Titan’s hands than by being lovesick.

But here she was. Coughing up iris’ petals because of her feelings to Levi.

A crazy scientist dying of unrequired love to humanity’s strongest soldier. Sounded like the premise for a very shitty novel. Hange would have never picked up such book.

Or, maybe, she would, but only to make fun out of it, while getting drunk with Levi.

At the mere thought of Levi, Hange started coughing again. A few bloodied petals appeared on the floor beneath her feet. Damn, that was getting annoying. She probably should stop thinking about him. And talking with him. And looking at him.

Maybe, she’d last longer then.

With a deep sigh, Hange picked up the few books about hananaki disease she managed to find and started walking back to her room.

* * *

She closed another book with a loud thud, groaning in annoyance. Out of all five books she had taken from the library, none contained the information she needed. Hange read more stories about unrequited love today than she had done in her entire life. Goddamn it. How was she supposed to battle the disease, if she had no data about it?

Shit, things looked grimmer and grimmer with each passing hour. Could it really be that she was going to die? Like this? Not on a battlefield, fighting for the future of humanity, but inside the damned walls, coughing up stupid flowers, because she was careless enough to catch feelings for some short grump?

How long would she last? Maybe, she needed to tell Erwin about her condition? Warn him that he needs to start looking for a new squad leader? Moblit should lead her squad, Hange decided. He was a bit insecure, but more than capable. If he was the one to continue her research, she could probably die in peace.

Shit.

Hange let her head fall onto the table, emitting a desperate sigh.

And as she did so, she heard a knock at her door.

Was it Moblit? What did he want? She stopped by his room this morning to tell him that she was not to be disturbed. Did something happen? Maybe, an accident with one of her captured titans?

Hange swiftly got to her feet, the thought of her precious test subjects in danger made her heart beat faster.

“I’m coming!” she called out, hurrying to the door. She opened it, a dozen of questions to Moblit already on the tip of her tongue. The words died in her throat, however, as the opened door revealed Levi, who was holding a tray with two cups of tea in his hands.

“You’re not Moblit…” Hange gasped, feeling the damn flowers appear inside her chest again.

“My face is not as constipated as your errand-boy’s,” Levi said in his usual sharp voice. Involuntarily, a smile made its way onto Hange’s lips. And she felt even more flowers grow inside. Soon another coughing fit would wreck her body, she was sure of it. She needed to get rid of Levi before that happens.

“Four-eyes, move out of the way,” Levi grumbled, bringing Hange back from her thoughts. “I brought you tea, so your dumb ass won’t die of dehydration.”

Something was definitely wrong with Hange, because Levi’s rude and harsh words made her heart beat faster (and her chest hurt even more). 

“You’re spacing out a lot,” strangely, Levi’s voice became a little softer. He pushed past Hange and entered the room, looking up at her. “Are you feeling alright?”

Damn, was Levi always so talkative?

“I’m sorry,” Hange covered her mouth with a hand, stifling the cough. “But I don’t really feel like hanging out today.”

“You kicked me out yesterday,” Levi narrowed his eyes. “And you’re doing it again today. What is going on, four-eyes?”

“Nothing!” Hange blurted out way too quickly.

Levi’s scowl darkened.

“I’m fine, I promise,” she repeated with a tired smile. “Just feeling a little under the weather.”

“Are you sick?” Levi put the tray down, approaching Hange.

And before she could come up with some stupid excuse, Hange’s body was wrecked with another coughing fit. She turned away from Levi, hiding the petals that came out of her mouth inside her tightly clenched fist.

Yes, she’s sick alright, Hange thought bitterly. _Lovesick._

“Hange,” Levi put a hand on her forearm. “Hange, you should go to the doctor. That cough sounds terrible.”

“No need for doctors, I’m fine!” Hange hastily wiped off the blood from her lips and turned back with the brightest (and fakest) smile. “I already took the medicine and now waiting for it to kick in. That’s why I am so sleepy.”

Levi’s face still looked skeptical. He watched Hange for another few seconds, before letting out a quiet sigh.

“If you say so,” he conceded, picking up his tray. “But before going to sleep, have a cup of tea. It’s hot, so it would help your irritated throat.”

“Thank you,” Hange croaked out, feeling new flowers growing inside her again.

Levi threw her another suspicious gaze, before taking a few steps inside the room and putting the cup on Hange’s desk.

“What’s this?” he asked, lifting a book. A book about hananaki. Hange cursed under her breath. “Didn’t know you were interested in that kind of things. Are you afraid that your unrequited love for titans will have consequences?”

“Just decided to take a break from my usual research,” Hange said, swiftly hiding her notes from Levi’s sharp eyes.

The irony of his words made her chuckle. Unrequited love for titans? Unfortunately, Hange’s object of affection was so much shorter.

“Well, don’t overwork yourself,” Levi warned. “Or I’ll tell Erwin.”

“Roger that, captain,” Hange saluted to him. “But now I need to sleep.”

“Yes,” Levi nodded. “You do that. I’ll check on you in the morning.”

Hange wanted to protest, she really did, but Levi walked out of her room, before she could find her words.

Damn, he wasn’t going to make it easier for her, was he?

* * *

No matter how hard it was, Hange successfully managed to avoid Levi for the whole week. She couldn't have done it alone, of course, but thankfully she had Moblit, who refused to let Levi enter their laboratory, and Nanaba, who let Hange sleep in her room.

However, it did nothing to help Hange's condition. With each passing day, her coughing fits became more and more frequent and she was getting more and more tired. By the end of the week, she was barely able to speak and she was coughing up stupid flowers almost non-stop. Her time was running out, Hange felt it. But she didn't want to die, not like this, where her comrades would be able to witness her downfall.

So she came to Erwin, requesting a vacation. She didn't specify her destination or the reason for request, but, judging by Erwin's grim face and the tight hug she received as she was saying goodbye, it seemed like she didn't need to.

For the longest time, Hange's only home was Survey Corps. Her parents died, when she was still in training corps, and she had no real relatives to speak of, except them. However their house remained, and, technically, Hange owned it. And since she had nowhere else to go, that's where she decided to spend her last days.

She didn't take much with her - only a change of clothes and her notebook. Maybe, she'd discover something new about the disease, before it kills her. Maybe, it would help someone else escape her fate. That's the only thing Hange could hope for.

As she was mounting her horse, reminiscing about her life in Survey Corps, Moblit approached her.

"Squad Leader," he whispered.

Hange looked up, and, _oh no_ , there were tears in his eyes. She felt moisture gather in her own eyes as well.

"Squad Leader, is that really it? Is there nothing that can be done about it?"

Hange smiled, her heart swelling with affection for her dear subordinate. Oh, how she was going to miss him.

"I'm not squad leader anymore," she said gently, letting out a small cough. "I talked this over with Erwin," she lifted her arm, placing it on Moblit's shoulder. "Now you'll be the one to lead the squad."

Moblit vehemently shook his head, tears streaming down his face. "No, no, I can't do this. I won't be able to do this without you, Hange-san."

"Nonsense," Hange assured him. "I doubt it would be as hard as dealing with me."

"Don't say things like this," Moblit said, his voice almost angry. "Working with you was the biggest honor I could ever receive. I don't regret a single second."

"Ah, Moblit," Hange pressed him to her chest, hiding her face in his shoulder. "I couldn't have asked for a better or more loyal assistant. I couldn't have achieved even half of the things I did without you."

"Is there truly no way to save you?" Moblit asked, holding her tightly in his arms. "Maybe, you should talk to Cap—"

"No!" Hange said resolutely. She took a step back and gave Moblit a sharp look. "I can't talk with Levi about this. And neither can you, Moblit. Make something up, lie to him about the cause of my death, but don't you dare tell him the real reason. He would blame himself for the rest of his life. I cannot burden him with that."

"Hange-san..."

"Take care, Moblit," Hange gently pressed her lips to his cheek. "And remember that I believe in you. I always had."

After throwing one last glance at her dear friend, Hange got on her horse and rode away, trying to ignore the pain in her chest and tears in her eyes.

* * *

Hange was curled up in a bed in her old bedroom. Her time has come, she knew it. She was able to last for two more days, but she couldn't endure it for much longer. She could barely breathe now that the flowers probably took over the entirety of her lungs. She just lay there, wheezing painfully and hoping that her suffering was almost over.

The whole room was covered with flowers and blood. If Levi could see this mess, he'd have a heart attack, Hange thought. Even now, as she was hurting so much, the thought of him, put a smile on her face. If only she could see him one last time - ruffle his soft black locks, inhale his soapy smell, look into his eyes, hear his deep and husky voice - she could die happily then.

At the same time, though, she was glad that Levi wasn't there to witness her last moments. She didn't want him to see her in such miserable state. As stupid as it sounded, she wanted him to remember her healthy and happy, not this broken mess her love had turned her into.

A short cough made its way out of her throat. All too soon it turned into another fit, the one that wrecked Hange’s body. She covered her mouth with a hand, feeling more and more flowers appear inside her palm. Shit, this was a bad one. It looked like it could be her last one too.

Hange felt tears gather in the corner of her eyes. Damn it, but she didn't want to die. Not like this, not when her death wouldn't mean a thing. She was a scout, for fuck's sake, her death should be in service of humanity, not— not _this_. She was a soldier, she shouldn't die in her bed.

Suddenly she heard a loud sound cut through the silence of the house. It was a booming noise that Hange recognized as the sound of something, _or someone_ , hitting the wood.

She looked up with no small amount of alarm. She closed the front door, she was sure of it. Was someone knocking on it and she didn't hear? So they decided to break it down? But why? Who could even want to get inside this house? It stood abandoned for years and all the neighbors probably didn't even remember Hange.

As she listened closely, she heard the heavy footsteps. They were loud, _too loud_ , whoever had entered the house surely wanted Hange to know about their presence. She could easily track the stranger's route - they walked through the entirety of the first floor, checking every room, before making their way upstairs.

So they were looking for her! But why?

"Four-eyes!" she froze the instant she heard that voice. Even if she didn't recognize that harsh tone, the choice of words was a sure giveaway.

It didn't make it easier for her to believe it. What the fuck Levi was doing there? How did he even find out about this place? The only person she told where she was going was.... Right, _Moblit_.

Hange sighed. He probably thought it would save her. It wouldn't.

She covered her head with a pillow, hoping against everything that Levi won't find her there.

"Hange!" he shouted again. "I know you're in here! Just come out already!"

Oh no, Levi sounded angry. _Furious_. He seemed even more pissed than that time when Hange painted all of his shirts in different colors. What has she done this time? What could annoy Levi so much he decided to search for her in the middle of nowhere just so he could yell at her?

Hange's luck soon ran out, as Levi finally found her bedroom. He threw the door open and... stopped abruptly, his eyes widening as he saw the state of the room and Hange herself.

"So your errand-boy didn't lie," he said in a quiet, shocked voice. He slowly walked further into the room, kneeling next to Hange.

"Who?" he put his palms on Hange's cheeks, making her look right at him. "Who is it?" he asked in a strangled, broken whisper.

Hange shook her head, desperately evading eye contact. She couldn't let Levi know.

"It doesn't matter."

"It does," Levi pressed, his eyes reflecting all the fear he felt.

Hange's own eyes widened, as she saw a few specks of blood on Levi's lips. Could it be?

She reached out, pressing her finger to his mouth.

"You... you have it too."

"Yes," Levi looked deeply into her eyes.

"Oh god," Hange lowered her head, grabbing a fistful of Levi's shirt. "I'm so sorry, Levi, I wasn't able to find the cure for it. I...."

"Wait," Levi's eyebrows drew together. "Can't... Can't that shit be cured with a love confession or something?"

"Ah, yes!" Hange smiled. "Of course, you still have time, so maybe you can make your beloved fall for you t—"

She didn't get to finish, because suddenly Levi's lips were pressed against her. Hange... Hange was confused. What the fuck was going on? Why... Why was Levi kissing her?

And where all the pain had disappeared to? Where was that weight that threatened to drag her down all the way to the ground? Where was that heaviness that almost overwhelmed her?

It was.... gone. And it could only mean one thing. One impossible, _implausible_ thing.

"You feel the same?" she whispered as they broke apart.

Levi nodded, looking as dazed as Hange felt.

"For a very long time.... I didn't realize my feelings. But when you started avoiding me," he gave her an annoyed look that didn't fail in bringing a small smile on Hange's lips. "I felt as though.... It was wrong. I wasn't quite myself without you."

"You missed me?" Hange asked breathlessly.

"Like crazy," Levi admitted softly. "It confused me. And then I saw your assistant, bawling his eyes out and... I knew, I knew something happened to you. The flowers appeared right in that moment."

"Irises?"

"Irises," Levi nodded. "I didn't even know their name until Moblit told me. The poor sod practically begged me to come here. Although, I didn't really need a lot of conviction."

"Were you worried?” she couldn’t quite believe it.

"I was fucking terrified, Hange. If I came here and..." Levi paused, clearing his throat. "And found you dead, I don't know what I would have done. I... I can't lose you."

"We live in a dangerous world," Hange reminded softly.

"And in a really shitty one, too," Levi agreed. "But... It seems less shitty when I'm with you."

Hange chuckled, elbowing him in the side. "Was that your version of a love confession?"

Levi smirked. "Did you really expect something better?"

"No," Hange shook her head. "If you had started to wax romantics at me, I'd honestly get worried."

"Well, if we're done here," Levi took Hange by the hand, helping her get up on her feet. "Then let's go back. This place is a mess."

"Yeah, even I agree that it could use some expert Captain Levi cleaning," Hange chuckled, leading Levi out of the house.

"What is this place anyway?"

"Moblit didn't tell you?"

Levi gave her a sharp look. "There wasn't enough time for a chit-chat."

"Ah," Hange fixed her glasses, feeling awkward. "That's... That's my parent's house."

"You never told me about them."

"There is nothing really to tell?"

"Still," Levi insisted, pulling on Hange's hand to bring her closer to him. "I want to know."

"A-alright," Hange smiled, butterflies fluttering in her stomach. They felt much better than flowers in her chest. "Just don't complain that it was boring afterwards."

"Nothing about you is boring to me." Levi said and then picked up his pace.

Hange stared after him in wonder. And then, as she noticed a slight blush on his cheeks, she smiled to herself.

Yeah, it was decided. Butterflies were much better than flowers.

**Author's Note:**

> hange and her unrequited love, am i right, folks?


End file.
